Confessions of a hopeless romantic
A series of illustrations showcasing a blooming relationship between two complete strangers generated through video calls and texts during this pandemic season.
Confession #676
I should've known !
That sink in my chest I felt when we made eye to eye conversation was not to be ignored. He once told me how we miss out on so many instances that we register sub consciously yet never consider in the moment to act upon hence causing us to ignore a greater opportunity which could've potentially changed our lives forever. So that one certain comfort you feel with someone where every alphabet, letter, word is spoken out without a back voice telling you that this is a bad idea is so hard to find. Those cant be forced or yearned for, one must let it occur naturally. Even though knowing about it, I still preferred to search for it in every wrong person while being oblivious to the fact that I wasn't supposed to. He was in front of me all along, talking about his love for Samsa / new game he got / love for gulab jamun.
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Confessions #789
" How can a person fall for someone through dms? Bitch did you like the way he types? "
While I read that meme at 2am , simultaneously texting him about my deepest insecurities, I chose to ignore the whole ass internet who have been dictating my life since the time of Facebook. Its weird, right? Like you feel just amazing and spectacular and on top of the world with someone just through 10000 conversations made virtually, without even caring if they actually mean it or not. That brief moment of warmth overpowers all your doubts. Don't get me wrong, I have misinterpreted many people I met online but I have been deceived by the very same classmate I drank many beers with for 4 years. All social media platforms seem so interesting all of a sudden when I see his texts. I get to see, be and live so many versions with the very same person
In short, its a trial and error scenario. I would enjoy it while it lasts.
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Confession # 984
If you ask me right now whats that one ultimate superpower I wish for, it would be teleportation !
Those momentary cravings to be able to embrace each other when I feel sad/happy/angry/joyful is making my everyday hobby of daydreaming even more difficult. To be able to lay your head on that one person's body whom you love with all your life is one of the best privileges one could get and I ENVY them all !
I wonder how he eats, if he has a sleep pose, what all birthmarks does he have etc..etc. Maybe its for the good considering I would appreciate every single moment I will get to spend with him ,making our bond stronger than ever now that we connect emotionally so well due to this pandemic caused long distance scenario. If it ain't for the silver lining I'm holding on to , my heart would've been in pieces which longs for him every.single.moment.
If you ask me right now whats that one ultimate superpower I wish for, it would be teleportation !
Those momentary cravings to be able to embrace each other when I feel sad/happy/angry/joyful is making my everyday hobby of daydreaming even more difficult. To be able to lay your head on that one person's body whom you love with all your life is one of the best privileges one could get and I ENVY them all !
I wonder how he eats, if he has a sleep pose, what all birthmarks does he have etc..etc. Maybe its for the good considering I would appreciate every single moment I will get to spend with him ,making our bond stronger than ever now that we connect emotionally so well due to this pandemic caused long distance scenario. If it ain't for the silver lining I'm holding on to , my heart would've been in pieces which longs for him every.single.moment.
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Confession #1167
I hate the way movies/shows/social media created this construct within my head about having #couplegoals relationship with your significant other. The chase to achieve something just so people appreciate it, envy it has caused me to confuse between me falling in love with someone or the concept of them.
I always thought words, texts or calls were enough to convey a person how you feel whenever you wanna place a point but as I grew I realised I just cant ! If the person gets you, they get you or else there's always this void which you just choose to ignore or make peace with it. Im kinda fortunate that I never had to explain myself to him. We placed our perspectives in the most delicate manner and considered each other's stance in that scenario. Mistakes were forgiven because aren't we all human but most importantly the realisation that you can be a better self than you are because they showed you is just another bonus that I am utterly grateful for.
Thank god, I found a friend in him.
I hate the way movies/shows/social media created this construct within my head about having #couplegoals relationship with your significant other. The chase to achieve something just so people appreciate it, envy it has caused me to confuse between me falling in love with someone or the concept of them.
I always thought words, texts or calls were enough to convey a person how you feel whenever you wanna place a point but as I grew I realised I just cant ! If the person gets you, they get you or else there's always this void which you just choose to ignore or make peace with it. Im kinda fortunate that I never had to explain myself to him. We placed our perspectives in the most delicate manner and considered each other's stance in that scenario. Mistakes were forgiven because aren't we all human but most importantly the realisation that you can be a better self than you are because they showed you is just another bonus that I am utterly grateful for.
Thank god, I found a friend in him.
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Confession #1349
I vaguely remember the time we first hung out. We chatted, rode around, hugged.. I mean I kinda should've known his touch but I dont. Its very astonishing to feel so different about the person depending upon how you place them in your life. When it comes to him, I regret not imprinting any of that feel now that Im unsure of our meet up again. Most of the nights we build this scenario of us being together , verbally illustrating our actions just so we soothe our aches caused by the incapability of not being able to embrace each other.
I never liked this whole concept of long distance. One can never truly understand the other one, but distance add more weight to it.
But you know what makes it work? The confidence and effort exerted by both the parties to mold the relationship in such a way that the distance just feels like a physical aspect, not emotional. Patience is also something I frequently ask him and myself to practice.
I vaguely remember the time we first hung out. We chatted, rode around, hugged.. I mean I kinda should've known his touch but I dont. Its very astonishing to feel so different about the person depending upon how you place them in your life. When it comes to him, I regret not imprinting any of that feel now that Im unsure of our meet up again. Most of the nights we build this scenario of us being together , verbally illustrating our actions just so we soothe our aches caused by the incapability of not being able to embrace each other.
I never liked this whole concept of long distance. One can never truly understand the other one, but distance add more weight to it.
But you know what makes it work? The confidence and effort exerted by both the parties to mold the relationship in such a way that the distance just feels like a physical aspect, not emotional. Patience is also something I frequently ask him and myself to practice.
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Confession #4847
I never understood the concept of family beyond being blood related. Whomever my mum pointed out and labelled were my family members, thats it. I started understanding a better and more wholesome concept of this only when I reached college. That one person who had a bitter personality but would prefer sitting with you to eat dinner? Yup/ the one who sat next to you literally everyday, never spoke yet shares her coffee with you whenever possible? Yup. So many instances yet again its not the mere gestures that define it all. There is this unsaid tie that no matter how much we fought, lost contact, spoke less of sweet words...I would still make my way back to you. I never pictured myself being with this one person for the rest of my life considering I have a difficult personality but lately its.. been... different. Someone who is willing to view your tantrums, attitude and in differences through those rosie tinted vision just so they can experience you to the fullest is the most sexiest thing I have ever came across. Building this dimension where we own a home, with a pet, enjoying a Sunday afternoon with music and food. Feels like one of those harley quinn hallucinations which I won't let myself be engulfed with. I guess nothing wrong in something which pushes you to achieve this warmth you dream of.
I never understood the concept of family beyond being blood related. Whomever my mum pointed out and labelled were my family members, thats it. I started understanding a better and more wholesome concept of this only when I reached college. That one person who had a bitter personality but would prefer sitting with you to eat dinner? Yup/ the one who sat next to you literally everyday, never spoke yet shares her coffee with you whenever possible? Yup. So many instances yet again its not the mere gestures that define it all. There is this unsaid tie that no matter how much we fought, lost contact, spoke less of sweet words...I would still make my way back to you. I never pictured myself being with this one person for the rest of my life considering I have a difficult personality but lately its.. been... different. Someone who is willing to view your tantrums, attitude and in differences through those rosie tinted vision just so they can experience you to the fullest is the most sexiest thing I have ever came across. Building this dimension where we own a home, with a pet, enjoying a Sunday afternoon with music and food. Feels like one of those harley quinn hallucinations which I won't let myself be engulfed with. I guess nothing wrong in something which pushes you to achieve this warmth you dream of.
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Confession #7477
I remember the time when I first got on the rollercoaster because it was so hip and cool. I knew being a person who has motion sickness wont be able to endure it yet that whole aspect of curiosity just took over my wuss side and rode it anyway. Oh, today its one of my favourites at the carnival. This whole leap of faith concept is just so subjective yet one comes out with amazing , unexpected outcomes which you may or may not regret but hell yeah you could at-least know what it is, right? I never blinked once when he asked me to be his girl, like something within me just told that its gonna be alright. If it were for my overthinking, highly critical side to take over that day then I probably wouldn't have made this series. Then came the part of preserving, caring and developing this relationship we got into and boy oh boy my frontal lobes have been acting up quite nice. To flaunt or not to, to spill deep secrets or not to, to question certain behaviour or actions of his or not to..yaada yada . But I know one thing that all through this kaos I must enjoy the process, embrace the potholes in the pathway and cherish nuances that reminds me of why I am with him at the first place.
I remember the time when I first got on the rollercoaster because it was so hip and cool. I knew being a person who has motion sickness wont be able to endure it yet that whole aspect of curiosity just took over my wuss side and rode it anyway. Oh, today its one of my favourites at the carnival. This whole leap of faith concept is just so subjective yet one comes out with amazing , unexpected outcomes which you may or may not regret but hell yeah you could at-least know what it is, right? I never blinked once when he asked me to be his girl, like something within me just told that its gonna be alright. If it were for my overthinking, highly critical side to take over that day then I probably wouldn't have made this series. Then came the part of preserving, caring and developing this relationship we got into and boy oh boy my frontal lobes have been acting up quite nice. To flaunt or not to, to spill deep secrets or not to, to question certain behaviour or actions of his or not to..yaada yada . But I know one thing that all through this kaos I must enjoy the process, embrace the potholes in the pathway and cherish nuances that reminds me of why I am with him at the first place.
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Confession #8520
The whole concept of home is very fascinating to me. Every person while describing tend to unravel that beautiful story behind its construction. When I was a kid, it was always the streets guiding me to this building where my mum would be waiting for me to try her delicacies and to watch cartoons on tv. In college years, it was always the suburban hometown with water bodies and twilight chirps over my head. So there was always a destination to associate something to the term but calling a human being that? Thats some SLA shizz ( I remembered that assignment we got on this topic ). When you think about it, its very convenient you know. Amidst any situation or circumstances, you can always feel at ease on the thought of that person's image, their fragrance, their music etc. Maybe these are the ways to cope while being away from him.
Music have always been a major part in my family. My memories range from grandma's folklores to brother's intro to Usher / one direction to late night flatmates' jam sessions.To be able to have someone who equally ( perhaps even more) indulges in this artform has been such a treat to be honest. Who wouldn't want to be sung to sleep or cheered when low? Considering all these virtual mini concerts I have received I just cant wait to attend the live ones..
The whole concept of home is very fascinating to me. Every person while describing tend to unravel that beautiful story behind its construction. When I was a kid, it was always the streets guiding me to this building where my mum would be waiting for me to try her delicacies and to watch cartoons on tv. In college years, it was always the suburban hometown with water bodies and twilight chirps over my head. So there was always a destination to associate something to the term but calling a human being that? Thats some SLA shizz ( I remembered that assignment we got on this topic ). When you think about it, its very convenient you know. Amidst any situation or circumstances, you can always feel at ease on the thought of that person's image, their fragrance, their music etc. Maybe these are the ways to cope while being away from him.
Music have always been a major part in my family. My memories range from grandma's folklores to brother's intro to Usher / one direction to late night flatmates' jam sessions.To be able to have someone who equally ( perhaps even more) indulges in this artform has been such a treat to be honest. Who wouldn't want to be sung to sleep or cheered when low? Considering all these virtual mini concerts I have received I just cant wait to attend the live ones..
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